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ana [userpic]
by ana (ugly_letters)
at May 18th, 2006 (09:30 pm)

current mood: morose
current song: tool-10,000 days

I said I was tired of hating myself. I lied.

warning: poss trig, whining, depressing, and what not.Collapse )

ana [userpic]
gotta love this
by ana (ugly_letters)
at May 16th, 2006 (09:49 pm)

Got this email from a friend.

Stress Management

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.

So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue

* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them

* Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

* Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

* The second mouse gets the cheese.

* When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

* We could learn a lot from crayons...

* Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today...


And also, I've noticed that the amount of members have decreased from 10 to 8. Oh well. I wonder if it's worth the trouble keeping a community.


ana [userpic]
by ana (ugly_letters)
at May 8th, 2006 (09:13 pm)

Kindness is tenderness. Kindness is love, but perhaps greater than love...Kindness is good will. Kindness says, "I want you to be happy.
- Randolph Ray

I'm having quite a rough time. Just struggling with self-hate that is so hard to get rid off. I only know that the day I will stop hating myself would be the day I get thin.

ana [userpic]
by ana (ugly_letters)
at April 30th, 2006 (05:50 pm)

'To die before you know your true self, it's a terrible thing' - Liadan, Son of The Shadows.

ana [userpic]
quote of the day.
by ana (ugly_letters)
at April 26th, 2006 (06:58 pm)

current mood: blank

Yesterday is but a dream, and tomorrow is only a vision, but today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope. - unknown

ana [userpic]
by ana (ugly_letters)
at April 24th, 2006 (04:41 pm)

current mood: crushed
current song: howard shore- steward of gondor

Grab the code and promote! Yes yes! 2 points for promoting, 3 for every person recommended! Woot.

A place for recoverers. A place of light and hope. Join no_more_despair!

ana [userpic]
possible babbling
by ana (ugly_letters)
at April 24th, 2006 (04:24 pm)

current mood: crushed
current song: anuar zain- mungkin

Well then I guess I shouldn't set this community to friends only. It's hard to control non-friendsonly posts.

No updates in 5 days?! I'm terribly sorry. I've been rather... depressed.

Is it even normal to cry because you just needed to let everything out during recovery? Things have been playing in my mind- the abuse, the loneliness, the cold blowing imaginary wind. The past would always be a part of me no matter how much I wish to escape them.

I have been lying to myself all along. I can't do this alone.

And one night I was watching LOST.

Sun Kwon: I don't think I've ever seen you angry.
Locke: [chuckles] Oh, I used to get angry - all the time, frustrated, too.
Sun Kwon: You're not frustrated any more?
Locke: I'm not lost any more.
Sun Kwon: How did you do that?
Locke: The same way anything lost gets found - I stopped looking.

Then I guess I should stop looking for what I've lost, stop finding my way home. Because I would see it when it wants to be found. And to see it would require wisdom.

Looking for things never helped me. Hope found me; because I had faith it would find me.

I need to muster all my remaining strength again. Look, the clouds are parting; I can see the ray of sunlight. Step by step, day by day, week after week, months, years... and all would be worth it.

Have a nice day everyone.

please stop the madness
by Lissette (littleli)
at April 18th, 2006 (04:09 pm)

current mood: crushed

The hate is everywhere.

Hate in our reflections. Constant judging, non-stopping critiquing of what's good, what's better, what's less, what needs to be thinner. People hate themselves and hate their bodies. Self-flagging is an occupation, something one masters. Degrade your personalities, qualities, skills and behaviours. Physically deprive yourself of the basic essentials to life.

I see good, wonderful people dying around me, withering away, wasting time, ignoring truth, hurting others by hurting themselves...dear god, all this suffering.

Who will listen when I say: "stop the madness"?

This is tiring. It makes me sad. *cries* I care too much. Here are my projects.

Power Quotes
– compile 1000 quotes on overcoming personal struggles
I Hear Voices
– compile 1000 lyrical quotes on self-love love and happiness
Eye See Beauty
– capture 1000 happy pictures of random, every day people in real life

I am but one person. I am but one voice. I am but one writer.

Tell me, am I alone? Who wil help me stop the madness of self-hate?

x-posted on ed_advicecolumn, ed_philosophy, ed_positive, no_more_despair, ed_ucate and littleli.

If this entry is inappropriate for this community, moderators may delete.

ana [userpic]
Some chicken soup...
by ana (ugly_letters)
at April 18th, 2006 (07:22 am)

current mood: hopeful

I guess I should start a PROPER post to get this community up and running.

I just got myself 'Chicken Soup for the Recovering Soul.' Does anybody have it? I looked convincing enough so I bought it. It's really touching, yes and motivating. It's an everyday guide, and hopefully after a whole year, you can be whole again.

I have lost a part of me somewhere, sometime ago. I am sure many who suffer from depression feels this way. When you've lost something you feel that you would never find it and that your life would be empty forever. But I want to find it, I want to know what it is that I have lost.

Now for some chicken soup to wet your lips...

'Spend a few minutes, a few hours, or an entire day unconcerned about what others will think, or what's in it for you, or whether something offends you or not.

Feel the freedom, delight in the ability to accomplish, and explore possibilities that you may never before have even known about.

Once you decide to let go of your ego, it's a very simple thing to do. And it will truly change your world for the better.' -Brahma Kumaris, World Spiritual University.

Let this be the day when everything changes for the better. I did not do well yesterday, but I have faith that today would be better. Everyday would be better than yesterday, only if you believe it is true, and you make the best out of everyday.

Quote: Detachment is being close to what you most want to be free from and using it to make you grow.

A perfect example- depression. I long to be free from it, and yet everytime I have to be reminded that it is there. It gave me wisdom to change for the better.

ana [userpic]
The Pencil Story
by ana (ugly_letters)
at April 15th, 2006 (06:49 pm)

current mood: contemplative

I find this very motivating and somewhat significant- The Pencil Story.

The Pencil Maker took the pencil aside, just before putting him into the box.

"There are 5 things you need to know," he told the pencil, "Before I send you out into the world. Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best pencil you can be."

"One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in Someone's hand."

"Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but you'll need it to become a better pencil."

"Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make."

"Four: The most important part of you will always be what's inside."

"And Five: On every surface you are used on, you must leave your mark. No matter what the condition, you must continue to write."

The pencil understood and promised to remember, and went into the box with purpose in its heart.

Now replacing the place of the pencil with you. Always remember them and never forget, and you will become the best person you can be.

One: You will be able to do many great things, but only if you allow yourself to be held in God's hand. And allow other human beings to access you for the many gifts you possess.

Two: You will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going through various problems in life, but you'll need it to become a stronger person.

Three: You will be able to correct any mistakes you might make.

Four: The most important part of you will always be what's on the inside.

And Five: On every surface you walk through, you must leave your mark. No matter what the situation, you must continue to do your duties.

Allow this parable on the pencil to encourage you to know that you are a special person and only you can fulfill the purpose to which you were born to accomplish.

Never allow yourself to get discouraged and think that your life is insignificant and cannot make a change.

Even if you do not believe there is God, you can hold your life in your own hands. Life is not ever easy, it is hard, especially for those in recovery from depression, etc, but it is the only way things can progress, as the saying goes, 'What doesn't break you, only makes you stronger'. Whatever happens, will all the strength that you have left to go on. There would be days that you wish you had never start screwing things up, and quit recovery because it is easier being left that way. But if we fight the negative thoughts, it shows that we are stronger, more flexible, more hardy. We will make mistakes, yes, like a pencil. But in life, there is no eraser- there is only correction. This is your time to make things right.

We were born to accomplish something in this life, the pencil is created to draw and fascinate others with their gift. What were YOU born to accomplish? To give aid to humanity, to love, or give hope? Maybe someday we would know.

So don't give up when you don't know what you can be!

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